Darwin Awards
These
are nearly always granted posthumously. This citation is bestowed upon (the
remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done
the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[San
Jose Mercury News]
An
unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's
windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing
a hole in his abdomen.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Hickory
Daily Record, 12-21-92]
Ken
Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton,
N. C., when, awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he
reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special,
which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[News
of the Weird, 18 May 93, San Jose Mercury News]
A
24-year-old salesman from Hialeah, Fla., was killed near Lantana, Fla., in
March when his car smashed into a pole in the median strip of Interstate 95 in
the middle of the afternoon. Police said that the man was traveling at 80 MPH
and, judging by the sales manual that was found open and clutched to his chest,
had been busy reading.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Unknown,
25 March 1993] A Vapid Death
A
terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a
man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body but autopsy
showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted
primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple other things). It was just the
right combination of foods.
It
appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing from the poisonous cloud
that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows opened it
wouldn't have been fatal but the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom.
He was ``...a big man with a huge capacity for creating [this deadly gas].''
Three of the rescue workers got sick and one was hospitalized.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Reuters,
Mississauga, Ontario]
Man
slips, falls 23 stories to his death.
A
man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this
Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death, police said Monday.
Stefan
Macko, 55, was standing on a wheeled chair Sunday when the accident occurred,
said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel regional police.
"It
appears the chair moved and he went over the balcony," Honer said.
"It's one of those freak accidents. No foul play is suspected."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[UPI,
Toronto]
Police
said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto
skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to
his death.
A
police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto
Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of
the building's windows to visiting law students.
Hoy
previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police
reports. Peter Lauwers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told
the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was `one of the best and brightest' members
of the 200-man association.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[AP,
Cairo, Egypt, 31 Aug 1995] CAIRO, Egypt (AP)
Six
people drowned Monday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a
well in southern Egypt.
An
18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned,
apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled him down, police said.
His
sister and two brothers, none of whom could swim well, went in one by one to
help him, but also drowned. Two elderly farmers then came to help, but they
apparently were pulled down by the same undercurrent.
The
bodies of the six were later pulled out of the well in the village of Nazlat
Imara, 240 miles south of Cairo.
The
chicken was also pulled out. It survived.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Times
of London]
A
thief who sneaked into a hospital was scarred for life when he tried to get a
suntan.
After
evading security staff at Odstock Hospital in Salisbury, Wiltshire, and helping
himself to doctors' paging devices, the thief spotted a vertical sunbed. He
walked into the unit and removed his clothes for a 45-minute tan.
However,
the high-voltage UV machine at the hospital, which is renowned for its
treatment of burns victims, has a maximum dosage of ten seconds. After lying on
the bed for almost 300 times the recommended maximum time the man was covered
in blisters.
Hours
later, when the pain of the burns became unbearable, he went to Southampton
General Hospital, 20 miles away,in Hampshire. Staff became suspicious because
he was wearing a doctor's coat. After tending his wounds they called the
police.
Southampton
police said: "This man broke into Odstock and decided he fancied a quick
suntan. Doctors say he is going to be scarred for life."